Stop Making It Look Easy And Start "Showing Your Work"

I will never, ever "Oh, this old thing?" you.

I’m so glad you’re here! I’m Sarah Von Bargen, a long-time online writer, marketing consultant, and coach. Every week we’ll be exploring ideas around spending our time, money, and energy on purpose + how to build a life we love that doesn’t make us broke or exhausted.

If we’ve ever met in real life and you’ve complimented something I’m wearing, there is a 95% chance that I’m going to tell you that I thrifted it and how much it cost.

I do this for three reasons:

1. I am extremely proud of this Gucci jean jacket I got at Goodwill for $8!!!!!

2. If you want something like this, I want you to know that it’s accessible to you, too

3. I deeply, deeply believe in “showing your work” (Zero shade - but the “work” of thrifting is very different than the “work” of walking into an Anthropologie and buying something cute)

And, not to be your bossy internet big sister (too late!!!) but I think you should be “showing your work” in every arena of your life all the dang time.

Here’s why I “show my work”

I think it’s a disservice to others who want to achieve something similar to pretend that it was easy

If you ever ask me how I created a career that gives me financial security, geographic / time flexibility, and creative fulfillment I will never, ever tell you that it just “fell into my lap.” I will tell you about the 20+ years of getting it wrong and the framework I created to figure it out.

If someone compliments our (honestly very cute and stylish!) living room, I will tell you how I spent 3+ years training my Facebook Marketplace algorithm to show me very specific things and then slowly furnishing it for - and I’m not kidding - $300. (Not including the couch we bought new from Ikea because we needed something that came in boxes so we could get it up the stairs!)

Other than the couch, eveything here is secondhand - including the dog! I think my coffee table vignette is giving Weird Rich Aunt, which is one of my life goals!

And if you ask me about buying a duplex so we can enjoy the emotional, logistical, and financial benefits of intergenerational living? I’ll be very honest about how it took us a year to find our duplex, how we lost out on five other duplexes before this one, and the … challenges of buying our duplex from this specific seller.

It’s a reminder to myself of what I’ve actually accomplished

You know those weeks when you sit back and think “I’m completely exhausted but what do I have to show for it?”

When you’ve been “showing your work” to the members of your household, your coworkers or even just your Instagram followers, it’s a lot easier to give yourself credit for everything you’ve accomplished.

Frankly, I want credit for it!

I don’t struggle to delegate or say no. I don’t sit silently, waiting for people to appreciate me. I pretty regularly say to my husband “Will you come look at this and tell me I did a good job?” (And sometimes when someone asks me to do something I will literally say “No. I’ve done enough.” 😬😆)

But the reality is most humans only notice when things go wrong. We don’t notice when things are effective / clean / organized / go according to plan. When you show your work, people are more likely to recognize what goes into making these good things happen!

3 Ways I “Show My Work”

I literally tell people why I’m doing what I’m doing

Since I work in digital marketing, an enormous amount of my work is writing, editing videos, and creating graphics.

And if you don’t know what goes into writing an effective sales email or blog post that people read all the way to the end, it would be easy to look at something I wrote and think “This took how long?” and “She’s charging me how much?”

So I’m a constaaaaaantly adding comments to Google docs that say things like

• “Opening with this anecdote to draw people in”

• “This title got 88% in Headline Analyzer”

• “Putting this in bullet points to increase readability”

When I pull the lint out of the dryer and there are other family members nearby I say “I’m just going to empty the lint catcher because if it gets too full, it can start a fire.”

If my neighbor compliments our landscaping, I say “Thanks! We killed off the lawn and replaced it with native plants because they’re more drought tolerant and better for the pollinators. It was a ton of work but I’m so happy with how it turned out!”

When I take on a task, I mention what goes into getting the desired results

I know this might sound passive aggressive! I’m not suggesting you should say “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG THIS IS GOING TO TAKE?!!!”

I’m simply suggesting that you say out loud what happens next. It helps everyone involved* understand how much work goes into something and manage their expectations.

* “Everyone involved” includes you.

When someone sends me a video to edit into social media clips, I say something like:

“Awesome! I’ll get started auto-correcting his eye contact, dropping in the logo and subtitles, adding some stock video to increase watch time and putting some music behind it. And I’ll make a nice thumbnail for Youtube and write up an SEO-ed video description. I think this will turn out really nice!”

When I invite friends to get dinner and go see a show, I’ll say “Great! I’ll see if I can find us reservations somewhere within walking distance. Could you make a 6:00 pm reservation?”

If I’m trying to coordinate a group trip, I’ll say “I’m so excited to see all of you! I’ll put together a list of Airbnbs that look good and see what Instagram has to say about must-see stuff around Salt Lake City!”

(Sidenote: my yearly Girls’ Trip is heading to SLC this November and I welcome all recommendations!)

I let people witness / understand my hard work

I do not “make moves in silence.” I’m not trying to hide how much goes into having your own business, keeping a home at-least-somewhat clean and organized, maintaining relationships, planning trips, etc. etc. etc.

All of it is a lot of work! And it’s okay if your kids, friends, clients, or partner witness this!

It’s okay to let people overhear you calling your reps - I love 5calls.org for scripts.

If you have kids, let them see you (and your partner if you have one), talking through budgets, planning meals, both doing house projects, both cleaning. It shows them what goes into maintaining a household. It’s not some weird mystery how the house stays clean or where meals come from.

And every weekday, I post my daily to-do list on Instagram Stories. It keeps me on task, accountable, and shows people what exactly I’m doing for this life that I’m sure sometimes looks like constant travel and adventure. (The “secret” is housesitting for friends and through Trusted Housesitters to make travel infinitely more affordable!)

I know being honest about the amount of work we put into, well, everything can feel uncomfortable for a lot of us.

Wouldn’t it be cool for someone to look at your life and wonder “How do they do it all?!” Isn’t it more fun to shrug and say “Oh, this old thing?” when someone compliments you?

You deserve credit for all the hard work you put into making your life awesome. It’s easier to give you credit when we can see that hard work. ❤️

If you’re good at “showing your work” in different areas of your life, tell us how you do it in the comments!