I'm not really professionally ambitious anymore? Here's what I care about instead.

Where's a Type A, eldest daughter to channel her energy NOW?!

I’m so glad you’re here! I’m Sarah Von Bargen, a long-time online writer, marketing consultant, and coach. Every week we’ll be exploring ideas around spending our time, money, and energy on purpose + how to build a life we love that doesn’t make us broke or exhausted.

A few weeks ago I met a longtime professional acquaintance for lunch.

(When I say “longtime professional acquaintance” I worry you think we met at a conference while wearing blazers and using words like “synergy.” But what I mean is we came up together during the golden days of blogging - 2008 - 2016 - and have supported each other’s work for ages. We’re “work friends” in as much as self-employed professional internet-ers can be “work friends.”)

Since the last time we saw each other IRL, she has launched and sold a company for gobs of money. Then she started a second company that - based exclusively on said company’s 200,000+ Instagram followers and professionally photographed products - is doing very, very well.

And what have I done since the last time my friend and I saw each other?

I launched an online course that people loved and literally changed lives (and that I wildly undercharged for). I burnt allllll the way out and quit the internet for 3 years. I inadvertently bought a duplex where the previous owner had used the basement to shoot up and leave his needles scattered in the corners. I decided to use the skills I’d developed writing and marketing my own offerings for retainer clients, as a temporary “stop gap solution” to the problem that was my burnt-to-a-crisp professional life.

My last five years felt somewhat less ambitious and impressive than hers.

As we sat in the booth of the hip restaurant and rubbed the complimentary bread around in a pool of golden olive oil, I caught her up on all this.

“I mean, it’s not sexy but I really like it.” I said. “I know how much I’ll earn every month, but I can still set my own hours and work from anywhere. I like all my clients and they like me and they’re happy with the work I do.”

“That’s great!” my friend said, taking a sip of her coffee. “And I bet it’d be pretty easy for you to bring on subcontractors or expand to offer, like, Facebook ads and website design. You could have a whole marketing agency before you know it!”

I laughed and shrugged. “Oh, I’m not trying to build some huge thing. I hate managing people. And honestly, I earn the amount I want to earn and work the amount I want to work and I’m totally happy with that.”

“What kind of Virgo are you?!” my friend laughed and slapped my arm. We flagged down the server to order and changed the subject.

But I’ve been chewing on this conversation ever since. My friend is uncommonly driven and I think there was a time in my life when I could have been described that way, too.

I got good grades, got into good undergrad and graduate programs, filled my passport, got a do-goodery job that was impressive in a karmic way if not in a financial way. As I built my blog, I got the podcast interviews, the tv spots, the literary agent blah blah blah.

But somewhere along the way I stopped being driven to build an impressive career. I stopped feeling passionate about almost any sort of professional achievement.

Now, I should add this is not something I accomplished through therapy or enlightenment or a lot of meditation. I don’t have a replicable system I can coach you through. I certainly don’t think I’m “better” or more evolved than someone who feels passionate about their professional life. I am married to someone who feels passionate about their professional life!

But after the last five years we’ve collectively lived through, I am simply driven by other things.

I’m not driven to create an impressive career. I’m driven to create an enjoyable day-to-day life.

The enjoyable day-to-day life I’m passionate about building: thrifting cute mugs while traveling, our 13-year-old rat terrier / chihuahua mix, protecting our democracy, hiking with longtime friends

I like the work I do! I am good at it and it comes easily to me! Annnnnd I am not driven to scale it to 7 figures and become “famous” in the world of digital marketing.

I’m not even sure I’m driven to build a particularly “impressive” life! I don’t want to climb Mount Everest (there are dead bodies and frozen poop littering the trail???). I don’t need a 4,000 square foot house. I don’t need my 45-year-old body to look like a 22-year-old body. I don’t need to name-drop celebrities I count as my friends.

Mostly, I’m driven to create a day-to-day life that I enjoy living. Even if that day-to-day life doesn’t look particularly “impressive” from the outside.

And in most ways - that’s what I’m currently doing! With my unsexy-but-successful business model and our 123-year-old duplex in a (lovely!) city most people couldn’t find on a map.

• I can wake up without an alarm and sleep in when I need to
  

• I can afford a membership at a lovely co-working space that’s walking distance from our house
  

• I can take time off to help friends and family when they need it
  

• I don’t have to share every aspect of my life on social media to convince people to buy my course, click this affiliate link, or DM for more info
  

• When the weather’s nice, I can kick off early. And when the weather’s bad, I can hunker down in my sweats, drink a gallon of coffee, and bang out three days of work in one day.
  

• If someone’s an asshole, I don’t have to work with them
  

• I can work from anywhere with an internet connection. I’m currently writing this from a log cabin on a river in a Hallmark Movie-eque small town in Wisconsin! Last week’s post was written from Fort Collins, Colorado where I was visiting a friend I’ve known for 20 years. (Here’s how I afford to travel so much without going broke.)

I’m not sure if the disappearance of my professional ambition is permanent or temporary, but - for now - it sort of feels like a blessing. As the economy flounders and AI remakes, well, most things, having an identity that’s largely separate from how I make money feels like a relief.

I like the work I do for my clients and I’m good at it! And if AI eats my career I’ll be okay. I have faith that I’ll find another way to make money that supports the day-to-day life I’ve been driven to build for myself.

---

Has your relationship with professional ambition changed at all over the last five years or as you’ve aged? If you’re not directing your drive and ambition towards your career these days, where are you directing it?